July 1, 2010

How To Become A Bitch!

Wouldn't You Like To Know How To Become A Bitch?
Here's The Instructions, After The Jump.
There's a time in your life when you feel you can't be nice anymore. There's a time in your life when people take your kindness for weakness. There's a time in your life when your relationship is taking the best of you. There's that time when you have to become a BITCH. This post is inspired by a good friend of mine [Shannon]. As, she told me she needed not to be nice anymore, her statement brought me back to the days when I used to deal with everybody's bullshit. We just weren't talking about friends per-say but, a species that we all wonder about. I'm talking about men or a hound dog as we call them. Guys are very difficult creatures and it's hard to tap into their minds. Some women who are in relationships with these hound dogs often feel emotional and self blaming. Woman shouldn't feel the need to always please a man if he; himself is going to act pathetic and caddy. Instead of searching for a better way to mend the relationship, why not act the same way as your guy, right?! Here are some of my ways to act like a total BITCH towards your significant other. If I'm correct he will soon to begin acting differently and realizing that your not around to take his bullshit. 

Here's my famous tips on becoming a BITCH:
1. When he wants to argue, don't argue with him go on in tangents about other things
2. Don't snoop through his phone, who cares about that one girl in his phone, I mean shouldn't you have an overload phone book? Just complain to him how many #'s you need to delete.
3. Never be afraid of hanging up on him when he starts acting disrespectful.
4. Never be afraid to call his job (I don't think it's obsessive, I mean he's playing games why can't you? aren't there two players to each game?)
5. If he has clothes over at your house, always be generous and take it to the dry cleaners and get the size altered.
6. If he's playing the game during you and him time, take that extra controller and play with him.
7. At a mutual party and he's acting real stank, act like he's not even there and leave with a group of people including other guys and your close friends. I'm pretty sure one of them will drop you off home.
8. He's not picking up his phone? That's excellent, he wants you to call him non stop, only call once text once and if he doesn't respond well that's enough contact for the day.
9. If your close with his friends or know them, don't be afraid to share embarrassing stories. I mean doesn't his family tell you all his embarrassing stories? why not share them also. 
10. ALWAYS TELL EVERYONE WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR. 
"Then do what you want. That way, no one ever gets mad at you. They get very confused, then blame it on themselves. If anyone confronts you, smile sweetly and act coyly. Particularly with guys. And bosses. Try not to have bosses if you can avoid them. Or have your manager deal with them." [Paris Hilton]